i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
