i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
