he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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