somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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