You really coming over, don't trick.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
