I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is her dick bigger than yours?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
