You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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