I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
