he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize