Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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