I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
