hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
