You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
