Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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