can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
