last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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