i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
