Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it hurts more in the daytime
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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