and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
