I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
