Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
