Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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