Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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