I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
