i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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