I have demons in me.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
