Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
