Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
