i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
