How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize