Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
