her vagine was all disorganized.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize