I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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