And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I need to align my fucking chakras
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
