Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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