Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
