he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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