tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
