kristin has been a bad kristin
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just want to make out with him forever
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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