bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
