Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
