2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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