either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
