I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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