swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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