I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
