Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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