I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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