I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
BRING THE BAGELS
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
