blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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