someone get that fucking seahorse.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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