another moral hangover. fuck.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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