So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
The best revenge is premature balding
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
