My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
