Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
