I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
