We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
